Mum friends and I have talked about what we'd prefer in terms of shit or spew and I can tell you hands down, that I'd prefer shit any day.
I know.
What kind of fucking things do you and your mates talk about Jess?! But seriously, when you're a mother of small children, this shit comes up.
Literally.
Hah.
This week nearly made me change my mind. Thank goodness we only had the back end going and not the top as well. That would have been a special kind of hell.
Poor Miss Molly lost the bet and ended up with a pretty upset stomach. I got a phone call on Monday from the daycare asking if they could administer paracetamol, of course, no problem. Didn't hear again. Upon pickup she was crying because she'd just done a poo and wanted it changed. She's getting to that age. Yes, we are attempting to toilet train, no, it is not going well.
When they popped her up on the table to change, dear GOD! THE POO! It was like a mudslide in there. DisGUSTING. We were all gagging. I was looking around fanning my face thinking, fuck me child, what did I put in your damn lunchbox?! They put it down to the paracetamol but pretty sure paracetamol has never made anyone shit like that in the history of its existence.
What followed was a pretty shitty night.
Pun intended.
We went through nappy, after nappy, after nappy.
To coincide with this awesome event, it had actually decided to start raining here after years upon years of a pretty serious drought.
I know.
Stellar.
Not particularly good timing when your child has gastro and you use cloth nappies. Literally the definition of FML.
So we're elbows deep in shit nappies, it won't stop raining, Molly's fucking miserable, and I have no dryer... you know what happened don't you? This cloth nappy Mama had to buy disposable nappies.
Tuesday night was even worse. There was shit in the bed FFS. We went through six nappies that night, and two sets of sheets.
I shit you not.
Are we over the puns yet? L O L S!
Juffin took one for the team and took carers leave. He gets that now.
He took Molly to the Doctor, washed the nappies, bought the disposables (like I could be seen buying nappies!) and changed and cleaned the river of crap that was my daughters bum hole.
Poor girl.
Poor Juffin.
I went to work. Woo!
Thankfully Molly was the only one who was affected.
There is a God.
This post is long enough already, but to keep myself accountable, I'll be honest and let you know that I've well and truly fallen off the health and well-being wagon. I got my period yesterday and I spent the week prior eating shit and feeling sorry for myself because I knew it was coming. That and I celebrated my 10 year anniversary at work and realised that I have achieved very little in that time... real talk!
BUT my period and feelings of inadequacy should not be a reason to reach for the nearest deep fried food stuff!
Menstruation is not a reason to fill my emptying uterus with chocolate!
Begin shame cycle....
I know that beating myself up about it is pointless and counter productive and dwelling on it will not fix anything BUT THIS IS WHY I AM THE WAY I AM!
So I'm choosing to keep going, instead of giving up like I usually do. I had a bad week. I ate some crap. I got a migraine and I couldn't do my hill walk today and I felt awful that I let my friend down but I also felt bad for missing it! I can totally do this because it's about making my life healthier, and being a good example for my kids.
Bring it.
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| Hooray for rain!! |
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