Bra-less

Yesterday when I got out of the shower and looked at what remains of my once bountiful, pert lady lumps I had to stop myself from running for the hills.  

Obviously I couldn't run anyway as I don't have a supportive enough maternity friendly bra to exercise in.  But that's not really the point.  Or is it?

I'm sure every woman asks the same question after the fact.  What happened to my chest?  How did my giant, but lovely boobs defy gravity for so long only to succumb to the curse that is pregnancy and breastfeeding?  Why do my nipples now point to the floor and not reach for the sky?  Will I ever feel properly supported again?  

All these questions, and more, cannot actually be answered.  I did read somewhere, that it's not the breastfeeding that ruins your boobs, but the pregnancy.  

Thanks for that douche bag author doctor lady.  For what it's worth, I don't really care.  My boobs are still ruined and I just want my perky chest back.  

But it's gone.  

Forever. 

Sob.  

Footnote:  Obviously a photo will not be accompanying this post as that would be highly inappropriate.  And yes, my boobs really do look that bad, but hey, they gave my son his only source of nourishment for 5 whole months so they can't be that bad...... can they?  

Second footnote: And yes, I'm well aware that I'm lucky to have my breasts and that I haven't got breast cancer and it's awful that women have to go through that.  I know that many strong, wonderful, brave, amazing women who face the challenge of cancer would kill to have my saggy, floppy, tumor free breasts.  I'm not trying to be disrespectful or make light of their situation just trying to be funny about my situation, and that I now have horrible boobs, amongst other things.  Stupid boobs.  

Heheh, boobs.